The Kakophone and alternative options

October 29, 2006

kakophone.jpg

Here is the Kakophone. The virtual online synthesizer to help you create the perfect ringtone for your cell phone. Let everyone know your true inner nature by crafting the perfect ring that will impress everyone.

thekako.jpgI’m hoping in their 2.0 release they will incorporate speakerphone alternatives. When you are standing in a long line, your phone can go off and say: “Dr Bourland, you are needed in the operating room immediately. Dr. Bourland, you are…” and everyone around you will hear it letting you go to the front of the line, feeling they are helping the world by doing it. Or let’s say you’re in church, you could program ethereal voices that would go off every five minutes to say: “Roger, you are my chosen one. You must move to Wyoming and form a church.” Or in that interminable meeting, your speakerphone just happens to go off, and the group hears the message: “Honey, you’ve got to come home NOW, the dog has just broken his leg!” You could pretend to hysterically try to turn it off, but by then everyone has heard the message and big sad looks are everywhere: “Roger, you should go home and take care of your dog, we’ll carry on.”

Seriously, I don’t understand the ringtone craze. The music industry has embraced it fully as another income stream, and now every artist’s songs are available as terrible synthesized reductions. So while you are enjoying a quiet moment in a book store, some dude’s phone goes off full blast playing Donna Summer’s “I Feel Love” and my bubble bursts and am suddenly transported to a disco in 1978. Ringtones can do that––interrupt your reality. I look forward to the day that it is considered bad taste to even have one.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

citrus October 29, 2006 at 8:43 am

You’re too young to be so cynical. Sounds more like something I would say … and mean.
Dad

Roger Bourland October 29, 2006 at 11:01 am

Not when it comes to sound oriented things, I’m ALWAYS opinionated on that front!

mauro October 29, 2006 at 4:55 pm

Are you aware that, when you choose a ringtone and receive on your email, the kakophone site has collected and LINKED

your country
your phone number
your email
the brand and model of your phone

Ok, you can input a fake phone number, but the most of kids don’t think about it.
This site could be a good way to collect valuable data. Note that there is no statements about privacy on the site

Roger Bourland October 29, 2006 at 5:53 pm

Yes I DID realize that this innocent little machine could be collecting phone numbers, and like, number combinations that might come to mind, say, like PASSWORDs!

I don’t advocated anyone seriously use this thing, but if they do, put in false information.

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