There are always a few people who will keep a secret.
There are always a few people to whom you tell something, asking them to keep it a secret, but knowing full well that they WILL tell everyone. And I’ve come to realize that that’s the way it is.
If I send out an email to a group of people asking them to keep it confidential, I need to write the letter knowing that anyone could read it. And of course, email can be subpoenaed.
Today I learned an exciting confidential piece of information. I went running down the halls wanting to tell someone, like the Chair, but wait, I’M the Chair, so I can’t tell anyone, except someone above me, like the Dean.
I know and understand the tendency to want to go out and tell the world something you’ve just learned. But to resist the personal rush and social drama of gossip is a tough habit to kick.
As Chair, I need to always remember that gossip will never go away. I will step in only when the chatter becomes mean-spirited, libelous, or disruptive.
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This is such an issue for me, as I love to gossip. I’m getting more taciturn, and as well have fewer people to blab to, but I’m still tempted occasionally.
A friend used to joke that he was keeping a confidence quite secret, and that he had only told persons X and Y. Of course they were well-known to be notorious gossips—you could expect your secret to be all over the good-sized company in a matter of days, if not hours.
I once heard about someone supposedly resigning from company H. The source had no particular animus, although he was often particularly critical of management ‘paper-pushers”. But he assured me that he had seen the evidence.
It turned out that he didn’t get the name right. There had been a resignation, by a “lesser” person (lesser only in the sense of salary and perceived power in the company), who had a somewhat similar and unusual name.
But I couldn’t resist telling someone, as I knew it was good news for many. And I had a very small axe to grind, as this guy had obliquely insulted me some time before.
Within a day or so, the “news” came back to me, fully confirmed by various august personages. The mistaken person was of course in furious denial when he started to be well-wished, and was hot on the trail of the saboteur, whose intentions he could only presume to have been ill.
I don’t think he ever figured it out.
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