VACATION: We realized that many times we can have as good of a vacation staying home and pretending we are “on vacation.” Avoid doing the stuff we always do at home. Treat it differently than you usually do. “It’s all in the mind y’know, huh huh, yeah” said Ringo’s cartoon character many years ago.

But sometimes, it’s good to just good to get out of town. It almost doesn’t matter where you go, as long as it’s out of the city limits. We ALL need to do that as often as we can. Day trips and overnights can be amazingly refreshing.

CHRISTMAS: We stopped doing the present-thing years ago and have spread the spirit throughout the year. Because I don’t do any Xmas shopping I was able to avoid all the Xmas music in malls. This year we visited Angus and Thom who played Christmas music all day. It was piped in courtesy of the Mormon Church who owns the SF classical music station. It was actually really nice. All played by the out-of-work classical musicians in some city playing smart arrangements of Christmas music for classical ensembles: string trios, piano quartet, quasi Baroque concertos and so on.

I wish Christmas were celebrated every five years–so that it might be special again for us older, jaded types. A friend pointed out that the national economy would have an even larger financial breakdown than the one we just experienced if we eliminated Xmas presents. So just remember the corporate feel-good slogan that everyone has embraced: “Giving is better than receiving!” You see, this point of view guarantees sales, whereas one has no control over what one receives. As my dear friend Del dramatically proclaims from time to time: BUY! BUY! BUY!

I know: I’m a Scrooge.

And then tonight I heard Howard talking about the beautiful scarves he bought for his sisters and realized that giving IS a good thing. And, I guess, focusing it during one period of the year is good for the economy–and we can use all the good-for-our-economy that we can get.

My family started a tradition of “soul presents,” presents that, although not necessarily expensive, are thoughtful and reflect something about the inner nature of the person receiving the present.

There is a downside of a life of receiving presents for holidays, birthdays, tchotchke’s from travels, and other inherited goodies: one ends up with tons of STUFF. Some of us love being surrounded by our stuff, others feel smothered by it. As I learned from two close friends who died this year, it’s a good idea to give your stuff away, if you can, as you see your end approaching.

GENEALOGY: As a break from my life, I started working on our family tree via ancestry.com. As my Chinese friends pointed out to me, it is the eldest son’s responsibility to do so, so I’m doing it.

The first thing I realized is that it really doesn’t matter what famous person is in your family tree in terms of their influence on you. There are so many ancestors, they ALL potentially influence you.

I took a nap last week after doing genealogy for three days in a row. I had a little dream that all my sperms were different potential-people in our family tree. And my mates eggs were also potential-people; so that every person born was a mix of those two people. Each of the sperms had different faces; some with mustaches and big cartoon-like faces. They swam around and would flash these funny smiles as they swam around. The eggs had big eyelashes and big smiles, each with a different look. I woke up and cracked up laughing. I realized I needed a break.

ENNEAGRAM: Daniel and I took the Jungian Enneagram test on enneagram.com. It also gave us our Meyers-Briggs test. Funny thing: when we first met many years ago, we had different results. For the past six years our results have been the same: ENFJ.

I turns out that I’m a type-Nine in the Enneagram world: the peacemaker. One of the downsides of being a 9 is that we avoid conflict. I think I learned that lesson in my last relationship, so I hope that that trait is not still lurking. Moral? Ya need to learn to fight.

WHAT SHALL I COMPOSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? I’ve come to the conclusion that the best advice for a composer of modern classical music who wants to be famous is to compose orchestral music. Today, this is the measure of success for composers in our society. Once that fame is achieved, he is free to compose operas (whether they have any ability to write for the voice or not), chamber music, films, and anything else the commissioner might imagine.

The day of charming pianists who play for wealthy patrons is over. Rarely do composers become well-known by writing choral music or chamber music.

So, as I have just turned 57, I ask myself: what shall I compose for the rest of my life? If I want to be more famous, I need to do a better job of writing fabulous orchestral music. But the truth be known, I prefer writing for the voice, and I write great tunes. So, with that I ask myself: Why not compose three or four more huge operas before I die? In that I haven’t earned by Great-Orchestral-Composer badge, I would need someone to give me a chance, or a break. That IS possible. The other less-ambitious goal would be to write songs for the rest of my life. Hmm, sounds good. Who needs fame anyway?

FAITH: Finally, here is a touching video about a dog and a family who had hope, or faith that their new rescued and deformed dog could get along in the world.

[Photo by RB of Angel Island from Belvedere, CA]

Our late friend Martin Nathan was classmates and old friends with Michael Crichton in Harvard Medical School and subsequently in Los Angeles. My partner at the time, Bruce Westland and I went to the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics with Marty and his partner Sam, and Michael and his wife and had a memorable time.

Marty and Michael were both very tall men. Michael commissioned a couch during the period he wrote “The Andromeda Strain” that he could nap, read and write on. He gave that couch to Marty some years back. Then, in 1986 Marty gave the Crichton couch to Bruce and me. Bruce bought a Lady Kenmore sewing machine and recovered the rotting Naugahyde that covered the couch. Today the couch needs reupholstering and maybe some new legs to make it a bit higher off the ground. We keep an old comforter on it and the dogs have taken it over.

I was very sad to learn that Michael died yesterday of a private battle with cancer. I loved his novels and am sad that the stream of his work has stopped. He was always able to take cutting edge scientific discoveries or possibilities and weave them into epic dramas. He was wise enough to be able to foresee the dangers of technologies.

I will miss this great writer.

I love how dogs and humans communicate. It’s usually a limited list of things they want: food, play, and affection. In the morning, usually when I write my blog, the dogs will come downstairs to be with me. More precisely, to sit and stare at me to let me know that breakfast time is now. I tell them they have to wait, they both let out a big sigh, and sit down next to me until I’m ready to feed them. Then, when I make a move toward the kitchen, they both go racing there for the feeding ritual to begin. When I put the food down, Daniel has trained them to sit until we say OK. During these few moments of torture, Cody looks up at me sincerely, eyebrow crinkled, waiting for the word. Giaco is crouched, and ready to spring toward his food.

The next communication is the “let’s play” look. I’ll be working, when all of a sudden there is a nose between my legs and a tail wagging wildly. I open my legs to find a mischievous looking Giaco giving me an irresistible look. I put on my shoes, and they know that their request will come true. I say “ball?” and they leap into the air.

Sometimes I decide that I will surprise them, and get ready to play ball. What is odd, is that whenever I do that, regardless of where they are in the house, they KNOW what I’m up to and come running to me, as though they picked it up via ESP.

Both of our dogs show affection in different ways. Giaco hugs (sic). If you are sitting, he will come up and drape his front legs over your shoulder and put the side of his face against the side of your face. He then stands here for a while and wags his tail. It’s the darnedest thing. His dismount is a bit awkward, but it is a cute habit. Then he leaves you alone.

Cody, on the other paw, is a lap dog at heart and wants to always be touching a human whenever possible. Sometimes he whines to let us know he wants to be in our lap. We’ve scolded him about this annoying habit, and so the whine has morphed into the teeniest, quietest little micro-whine that we can, of course, both hear, no matter where he is.

There is also that look when children or puppies come over. Cody will look at me with that “what were you thinking? Get this child/puppy out of my house. Now.” look on his face.

I remember Stan used to test his dog on word recognition. He’s say: “Do you want a wookie?” Dog does not respond. “How ’bout a hookie!” Dog moves in frustration. “A bookie?” More frustration. “Or would you like a COOKIE!” And the dog leaps into the air.

We have tried this with using the tone of “Want to go for a walk?” but used some sick words like “Wanna cut your head off?” And the dogs are equally thrilled. Tone is everything.

Finally, there is the “I better get out of here” leave-the-room response where the dog’s answer is clear. This answer is common when we ask: “Who wants a bath?” or “Wanna cut your toenails?” or “Time to brush your teeth.” Cody’s ears go down, knowing it’s futile to escape. Giaco runs to hide under a chair somewhere.

Some of us charge large hourly wages for our services. Lawyers, therapists, personal trainers, consultants, salaried employees and so on. I guess I’m one of those people. It occurred to me tonight while I was playing TUG with the dogs –– what are my hourly wages for playing with my dogs? $250 an hour? $500 an hour, 1 hour minimum?

No, silly, you don’t get paid for playing with your dogs.

Yeah, but it’s the same YOU that is doling out that valuable information to clients.

No. Dogs get your attention for free.

Um, excuse me: my dogs are giving me that look….

[PS: Y'know, another great thing about dogs is they don't have email.]

Our dogs require a daily dose of exercise.

I’ve isolated the two favorite exercising rhythms that our dogs thrive on:
running–whether it be a chase, or a run/walk with the pack–and
playing tug.

Running is aerobic, and it stimulates the cardiovascular system, and the other is tugging on a toy, a toy onto which they clamp their strong jaws onto and pull as hard as they can. These are two very different kinds of exercise, and I’m trying to transfer this to my own exercise schedule.

Tug, and run. That combination makes my dogs very happy.

Whenever I stretch out on the floor, my dogs assume that I’m dying and they immediately come and start licking my face. I’m not a big fan of getting licked in the face by my dogs, but I realize that this instinct could save my life some day, so I’ve learned from Daniel to thank them and gently push them away.

My aunt sent me a longer version of the following video where an Italian Greyhound, who looks very much like our Cody, is baby sitting. There is a long period where the two of them are just sitting there. Then the baby begins to cry for quite some time. Then this clip begins and you see the baby being “calmed” by the IG’s howling. Howling is what these dogs have to do from time to time (they ARE called HOWLNDS aren’t they?). Our dogs howl when intense fire alarms sound, and especially when old friends arrive. The more they love them, the more they howl.

Cody started figuring out that he could sit out fetching the ball. He’d just sit and watch Giaco race down the driveway, retrieve the ball, and dash back to give it back so that I would throw it again. If I would give Cody grief by saying “Cody! Go get the ball!” He’ll just turn his head to look up in the trees to see whether there were a squirrel to bark at. No coaxing could get him to fetch the ball unless HE felt like it.

Then I realized that I, as pack leader, was standing there watching Giaco, and Cody was just copying me. My solution was that I must also fetch the ball. So, we all RUUUUUUNNNNN down the driveway, Giaco gets the ball (that IS his job), we AAAALLLLLL run back. I take the ball, throw it again, and we all do that until we get pooped, er, tired. Good cardio for both species!

[Photo: Giaco Sleeps by Roger Bourland]

Having two male 5-year old Italian Greyhounds requires certain daily responsibilities. After being fed, the most important activity is activity, or exercise. Our dogs get very high strung and snappy when they don’t have exercise. (Hmmm.)

Every day at three pm, I throw the ball and play tug with them. Giaco loves to catch the ball best. Cody prefers tug. Cody is best at tug. Giaco is best at ball. (Hmmm.)

Giaco is offense. His job is to catch the ball, Cody doesn’t even try, but he runs to catch it with Giaco. After Giaco turns around to bring the ball to me, Cody, who plays defense, tries to get the ball away from him and away from me — that is unless I agree to play tug, his favorite game. Cody sits many of the throws out, preferring to just watch. Only when I say “oh! Good catch Giaco” that he dashes down to try to wrest the ball from his opponent. (Hmmm.)

If I come home at 4, or, god forbid, 5, the dogs will NOT allow me to check my email, make phone calls, but surround me and push me out to play. The rhythm is a nice one as it keeps me in shape as well. We have some exercise equipment and a stationary bike near where I throw the ball, so I can do a set of something waiting for the ball to come back.

These dogs are particularly affectionate. Other duties we have to them is to love them. Cody wants to be sitting next to a human at all times if possible, yes, a true lap dog. Giaco has the bizarre habit of hugging. He stands on his hind legs (while you are sitting down) puts his legs on your shoulder, and then presses the side of his face to the side of my face. We thought that it was because he sees US hug so much, but I met one of his cousins the other day and SHE loves to hug as well. Hmmm, what a lovely genetic trait!

This just in from Angus. A heart warming video and story about friendship in the wild. (Click on this picture to watch the video.)

Over the past five years I have had an annual photo shoot with my dear friend and trainer Teresina. Here are two (of the 500) from our most recent photo shoot. Teresina is passionate about her stationary bicycle, so this is a sexy pose with her buddy, the bike. The second one shows her surrounded by her beloved pit bulls. Any questions as to who is the pack leader here?

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