We are married!

August 23, 2008

Daniel and I were married last night in the home of Richard and Paul: Richard has a California license to marry people, and Paul was the witness. It was a deeply moving experience with all four of us in tears. I thought I would be the only one crying after the “I do” part but I was not alone. It feels wonderful and very real for two guys to be married. It’s taken our relationship to a whole new level.

This morning I woke up in R&P’s beautiful Mill Valley home, surrounded by Redwoods and decided to catch up on my blog reading, starting with one of my Dad’s blogs. I was amazed and downright thrilled to find this most touching post that he made a few days ago.

Yep. He is. “So what’s so great about that?” you ask. Well, he’s marrying another man.

I realize that the right wing political and religious folks will tell us this is a very bad thing. Marriage is reserved for a man and a woman. It is an institution that must be “protected.” Somehow all that talk seems hollow when your own son is gay and announces that he and his partner of 15 years are planning to walk down the aisle. When 50% of heterosexual marriages fail in our generation, one wonders exactly who marriage needs protection from. To paraphrase Jesus, “Marriage was made for people, not people for marriage.” So it is with all institutions.

They are both good guys. Brilliant. Talented. Interesting. Successful. Fun. They have been open and honest about their sexual orientation and their relationship from the beginning. No lying, covering-up or sneaking around. Nor have they flaunted it. They seem to have more going for them than many of the couples I know.

I know more about marriage than a lot of people – having been happily married for over 58 years and having worked intensely with married couples over a long ministry. I think good people can deserve each other and should be free to accept the rights, the privileges and the burdens of marriage. It’s hard for me to imagine that their new relationship will do any of us harm. And it may just set an example for people to see that it’s what a couple has inside that makes for great marriages – not appearances or traditions.

Next year, a year from today, we will have a celebration ceremony for all of our friends, celebrating one year of marriage and 15 years of living together.

[Rice falls from the sky.]


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