Wrap him in love

March 20, 2009

I mentioned that our friend Julia Shin died last week. As you might imagine, her husband, Tiko (27), is devastated. One can be strong in such life drama for only so long. When my brother died, Daniel and I went to spend time with the family: just being with them, we figured, would be a good thing.

We agreed to invite Tiko’s family stay in our home while they came to town to be there for their grieving son. Staying with us are mom, dad, two sisters, one with a 5 month old baby, and Tiko. I figured that they would be scattered around the house, but no, they are ALL staying in one room — one big family, playing video games, watching movies, napping, visiting, sleeping, and loving their son/brother. Tiko has decided to spend all this time with his family. He’s not reaching out to friends or going to school or working, he’s just letting them surround him with their love. I am touched by the sheer simplicity of this kind of healing. Words, shmerds: just being there means so much.

Update: after a long weekend of nightly singing around the piano till 2, there are more smiles around here. I’m off to Palm Springs and will leave Tiko and family here to spend more time before they go back to Canada, and Tiko tries to get back in the swing of life.

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