WHERE is Roger?

March 2, 2013

Bellini: I don’t mean to panic, but WHERE is Roger? He is such a sweet boy and I so enjoyed his posts on his blog. Especially when he let’s us come back and say a few words.
Berlioz: I always thought that I would know, if any dead composer would know, where Roger is but alas he has not kept in touch with me.
Ives: I’m not normally a sentimental old fool but I was wondering the same.
McGarrigle: And where is that book on Rufus? I’m not really interested, but I am curious.
Bernstein: I know. I’ve watched him for the past year and a half.
Bizet: As have I brother Lenny.
[they embrace and kiss each others’ cheeks]
Berlioz: Well WHERE is he? And why is he not posting?
Bizet: He tells his close friends that he has just written his “Carmen.”
Bernstein: [laughs, coughs, inhales cigarette] He also said this was his “West Side Story.” And I have to hand it to him, it’s a hot opera.
Bizet: I agree. He has pop tunes in it as hot as mine.
Schoenberg: “Pop tunes”–you mean BLATANT pop tunes?
Wagner: An amateur.
Zemlinsky: I know what you mean, but Richard, we must keep our minds open to different interpretations of the meaning of opera.
Wagner: Think what you will.
Puccini: I’ve only heard the “pop tune” in his opera. I happened to be on a brief return to earth, Mazatlan to be specific, and I heard this wonderful tune. I went to it and found Bourland in his underwear, looking out at the sea, in tears writing this wonderful melody to words just handed him by his colleague, Mitchell Morris who was staying in the next room, sound asleep. If the rest of the opera is as good as that, my friends, we have a new hit on our hands!
Mozart: Did someone say opera? [giggles]
Schoenberg: I look forward to hearing it.
Bernstein: I don’t know that it will be your cup of tea. but…
Thompson: He IS a member of Aaron’s boy’s club.
Thomson: I guess that means I would be a member as well.
Thompson: Well, if the shoe fits, wear it.
Bernstein: I certainly am.
Bellini: I think I would be.
Schoenberg: Most definitely not.
Wagner: Boy’s club?
Mozart: [giggles]
Copland: Oh honestly, how insulting.
Bernstein: Well, you KNOW what they mean.
Verdi: [humming to himself; oblivious]
Bellini: I applaud his return to MEMORABLE melodies. Music lovers love melody no matter what they say. They are able to take the music they just heard by remembering them: by singing, humming or remembering the tune in their mind.
Schubert: I have heard the new CD of Bourland’s complete songs due out this fall and I must say, I am a Bourland fan, or muse volunteer.
Bernstein: As am I!
Bizet: Et moi!
Griffes: You silly dead composers, he’s sleeping. His guardian angel is old friends with mine, and…
Bernstein: Charlie, TMI
Thomson: The music is rather, rather, awfully poppy, I must agree.
Thompson: I don’t mind poppy, as long as it’s not mawkish.
Puccini: Mawkish? How does that translate into Italian? I fear it may be my middle name.
Bizet: Oh hush all you silly dead composers. Roger is alive and well and living in Silicon Valley. His opera is now receiving a workshop performance at UCLA and after that several performances are on the horizon.
Bernstein: I am proud of him and think his opera a great piece of work.
Thompson: You’re a piece of work.
Bizet: Gentlemen, behave. I will encourage Roger to not neglect his little antenna, his blog. Until then, be patient. He is phasing out of his career and life as a university professor and pursuing a new dream as a opera composer. I for one applaud his courage.

[Much clattering and groaning]

Bourland: ohhhhh, what is going on? I feel as though I’m in a twisted episode of Mystery Science 3000 for composers. Oy! Is this a dream or… OMG you are all here. How embarrassing. I didn’t mean to express any disrespect…
Weill: Oh get over yourself. We like what you are doing, we are concerned that you seem to have disappeared.
Bourland: Disappeared? Uh, I live in Silicon Valley, and am teaching my final year at UCLA.
Sibelius: Tell him Rojelio.
Bourland: Yeah, my knee has been giving me real problems. I went to a fabulous wedding where we did the hora on a concrete flora and that along with a history of knee problems turned me into a disabled person. I am actually learning to walk again, and the walking I do, I do with a cane. Learning to walk again is like a dance. Constantly telling myself: lift your leg, toss it forward OUCH! and keep trying to do it.
Griffes: Oh darling, my final days were hideous.
Bourland: Final days?? Give me a break. I have a bad knee. And someday it will get better. These are NOT my final days.
Sibelius: … and?
Bourland: And, and, well, I’m adjusting to a new post-UCLA reality, and am really doing quite well, but you still have to go through the separation process.
Berlioz: So that is why you have not been blogging?
Bourland: Well, I’m am am obsessive person, and I can’t be distracted by anything, and with the opera, I had a very real deadlne: when I have a deadline…
Debussy: As I always said: Music is a jealous mistress.

Bourland: Exactly. But really, who are you all? [Various composers begin to disappear: popping away] Oh dear, I didn’t mean to make you go away [pop, pop, pop: the rest vanish]. Oh my: am I dreaming? Uh… Hello? Anyone there?…

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