Tchaikovsky’s Ghost Given Asylum in San Francisco

July 27, 2013

PTchYesterday Peter Tchaikovsky’s ghost was officially given political and sexual asylum in San Francisco. Composer Roger Bourland helped negotiate the arrangement. Bourland stated that “Although Peter had long loved New York and considered settling there, it was clear to him that the Bay Area composers were the most vital on the planet and that he like the men there the best. He also said that he prefers Michael Tilson Thomas’s performances of Russian composers over anyone else.” West Hollywood had fought hard to have him settle there stressing that the large Russian and LGBT population would make him feel comfortable and at home.

Tchaikovsky almost changed his mind to settle in Amsterdam when he learned of the peculiar attempt by American protesters to boycott Stolichnaya Vodka. “Don’t they know it’s an American vodka?” Bourland reported that after calming him down and promising it would blow over as a misunderstanding, Tchaikovsky signed the San Francisco asylum document. He promised the No-Ghosts-in-SF-League that he would never haunt anyone or be a public nuisance. Having heard his promise and knowing of his fame, the League gave the SF Planetary Overseers their approval. Tchaikovsky will be hovering in the Castro Street area.

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